


A Rolling Stone

by PanicFOB



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Language, POV Alternating, POV Second Person, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-08-20 07:07:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 17,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20223817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PanicFOB/pseuds/PanicFOB
Summary: Bucky Barnes can't seem to wrap his head around you, the woman he met at a karaoke bar.





	1. Rock.

**Author's Note:**

> You guys, I am so happy to be sharing this first chapter with you. I just love writing Bucky so much that I needed to fill that place in my heart as soon as I finished Wish You Were Here. This story will be about the same length as my others, 15 chapters, between 1K to 2K words per chapter. That's just my style. I hope you're all just as excited to read this as I am to write it! Much love x

Slurred Singing was a ghastly place in Bucky’s opinion. The karaoke bar was crowded, smelled like cigarettes and vomit, and never had any breaks in between terrible karaoke singers. It figures that Clint Barton would want to come to a place like this for his birthday celebration. They sat at a secluded corner booth along with Natasha, Bruce, Sam, and Steve, all crammed together like sardines.   
“Is this the biggest table they have?” Steve shouted over the deafening music and the sound of what could only be described as horrendous wailing. Bucky had known he’d regret not bringing earplugs.  
“Yup,” Natasha confirmed sadly, “but it won’t be as crowded once one of you fellas gets up to sing.”  
“Oh no. I only came to watch,” said Steve.  
“Same,” Bucky concurred.  
“Guuuuys, it’s my birthday. Don’t you wanna sing for me?” Clint whined, already quite drunk.  
“Not even in the slightest,” said Bruce.  
“Since it’s your birthday, you should sing first,” Sam announced before shoving Clint out of the booth. The man staggered his way over to the stage and performed a sloppy rendition of “Rock of Ages.” Bucky offered to get the next round of drinks so that he wouldn’t be forced to sing once Clint returned. The long-haired man walked to the bar with his head low so that nobody could recognize his face past the ball cap he was wearing. Neither he nor Steve would ever really get used to the sort of fame that came with being an Avenger. They were hard-pressed to find places that would not result in a crowd of fans swarming. Luckily, Slurred Singing was just dark and loud enough that Bucky was optimistic they could make it through the night without signing autographs.   
As he leaned his metal arm on the bar, mostly covered by a long-sleeve shirt, and waited for the bartender to make their drinks, he gazed over at the long line that was forming of the people waiting to sing. Sam was now in the line, but he had at least five people in front of him. The person at the front of the line was a beautiful dame. She was chatting with the person behind her whom Bucky assumed to be a friend, and her smile radiated across the dingy bar. Bucky found it contagious, that joyful grin. Without realizing it, he had started smiling as well.  
“Here you go, pal,” the bartender’s voice pulled him away from the sight of that woman. He returned to the table and passed out the drinks, making sure to give Sam a frilly one that he knew the man would hate, before sitting down. The woman was on stage now, but he couldn’t keep full focus because Nat had asked him a question.  
“What?” he prompted her to repeat it.  
“I was wondering what exactly happened with Kathryn.”  
The music changed to a song Bucky vaguely recognized.  
“Just weren’t a good fit.” He really didn’t want to go into detail about his recent breakup.  
The woman on stage was clearing her throat.  
“But why though?” Nat pressed.  
“We just wanted different things in life, that’s all. Not much to it,” he said, trying to fend her off before the woman started singing.  
And then she did. “I saw her today at the reception” erupted from her mouth, and god was it the most hideous singing Bucky had ever heard.   
“You guys were together for nearly a year, though. Surely there was more to it than that.”  
Bucky was flat out ignoring his friend now. He couldn’t take his eyes off the angel on stage with the voice of a demon. Her off-pitch performance was the most alluring thing Bucky had ever seen. She wasn’t drunk, not slurring every word like most other performers, but she still had a shining confidence about her. It was an honest confidence rather than a buzzed one, and Bucky thought it must take an incredible person to want to sing with that awful voice while completely sober in front of a crowded room.   
“And I went down to the demonstration,” she belted.  
“Are you even listening to me, Bucky?”  
He finally tore his eyes away from the signing woman and nodded at his friend to confirm he had heard her. “All she wanted to do was party, and all I wanted to do after a mission was chill. She said I was too boring, and I told her she was too wild. We fought. It ended. That’s all there is to know, Nat.”  
“My favorite flavor, cherry red,” clawed at Bucky’s ears, for the woman was still going strong up on the stage.   
Natasha studied him for a moment before deciding to let the subject drop. “What about you, Steve? When’s the last time you had a date?”  
“Ugh, not again,” Bucky heard Steve grumble, but he didn’t stick around to hear the rest because the woman’s song was quickly coming to a close.  
“But if you try sometimes you just might find!” she shouted as Bucky made a beeline for the side of the stage. He planned to meet her there and introduce himself as soon as she stepped off. He still had a bottle of beer in his hand, and he tried not to seem too eager as he waited for her. She finally placed the microphone back on its stand and gracefully stepped down the stairs.   
“Hi,” Bucky said as they came face to face.  
“No thanks,” she replied before trying to walk past him.  
“Sorry?” He wasn’t sure what he had already done to offend the dame.  
“I’m not interested.”  
Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed. He hadn’t had such bad luck with a woman since… well, ever.  
“Um, why not?”  
“I’m not into bad boys,” she said in all seriousness.  
Bucky laughed loudly before realizing it hadn’t been a joke. “What makes you think I’m a bad boy?”  
“Seriously?” she acted as if the answer should be obvious to him.   
“Look, I don’t know if you recognize me, but I’m actually an Avenger. How could I be a bad boy if I’m a hero?”  
“Oh, I know exactly who you are. For the record, it is possible to be simultaneously a good person and a bad boy type. As I said before, James Barnes, I’m not interested.”  
She was walking away from him now, and Bucky had to act quickly before all hope was lost. “I just wanted to get your number, doll!” he shouted after her.  
“You can’t always get what you want, James!” she shouted back at him without even bothering to look. And then she was gone.


	2. Crag.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

It was a slow Friday night at Slurred Singing, and you were stationed behind the bar, juggling a couple of beer bottles.   
“Aren’t you supposed to be helping, not playing a clown?” Adam, the owner, said as he walked up.  
“Hey, I’m not getting paid for this, so you’ll accept my service no matter how crappy it is without complaint,” you quipped at your best friend. This karaoke bar was a dream come true for him. The two of you had met in college, Adam studying business with a nerdy passion. It had been his goal for a long time to own his own bar, and now he was here, bribing you with free drinks for life if you helped out as bartender on occasion.   
“Yeah, yeah. I’m ever indebted to your service and all that… nothing I haven’t heard a million times before.”  
“Glad it’s finally setting in,” you smirked.   
“Gonna sing tonight?” he asked, elbows leaning on the bar.  
“Probably not. I like to save my gift for a full crowd.”  
Adam snorted in response. “Well, we might get a rush later on. You know how up and down Friday nights can be.”  
Curse the man for being right. By ten o’clock, the bar was swamped and you were completely overwhelmed with drink orders. You flew back and forth from one end to the other sloshing alcoholic beverages all over the place before slamming them down in front of whichever customer had ordered them. This sort of rush was way out of your skill range when it came to bartending. You were more of a ‘slowly pour a glass while chatting up the hot guy who ordered it’ kind of girl. By the time the place finally died down again, you were drenched in sweat.   
Karaoke had been popular all night. That was the primary reason most people came to this place. Slurred Singing had been listed as the number one karaoke bar in a recent print of the local paper. Adam certainly didn’t draw customers in by being upscale; this place was dingy as fuck. People came here to have a good time, to humiliate themselves while hammered. To you, the atmosphere was perfect, which is why you often helped Adam out for free when you weren’t busy with your day job. You hadn’t been close with your family since you left for college, so being here at Adam’s bar made you feel like you were home.   
You were wiping down the counter with a rag when the song changed to something by the Rolling Stones: your favorite. You looked up to see who might be singing the song and immediately groaned.   
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”  
“Who’s that?” Adam asked, appearing out of nowhere and startling the shit out of you.  
“You didn’t spot his metal arm? That’s the Winter Soldier, my friend.”  
Adam’s eyes grew big in shock. “No way!”  
“Sure enough. Most of the Avengers were here last weekend,” you informed him with a shrug.  
“No fucking way. Are you having me on?”  
“I’m definitely not. You know, as the owner of this fine establishment, one would think you’d have a better knowledge of the happenings here.”  
“Okay, I manage to overlook one large group of famous superheroes and I’m a careless owner? My bad,” he said as he held his hands up in surrender.  
“Yeah, get your shit together, boss,” you replied sarcastically.   
Meanwhile, James was failing to hit the right note as he sang, “Killed the czar and his ministers…”  
“Wow, his voice is almost as lovely as yours,” Adam teased.   
“Please. Nobody comes even remotely close to beating my title as karaoke queen. Don’t insult me like that, Adam.”  
He laughed before saying, “You can finish cleaning up and head out. Things are winding down, and I’ll probably close soon.”  
He disappeared, and as you mopped up the mixture of alcohol on the floor, you reluctantly listened to James belt, “But what’s puzzling you is the nature of my game!”  
She knew exactly what the man would do once he got off that stage, but she prayed her suspicions were incorrect. Sure enough, she turned around from placing liquor bottles back on shelves to find him standing there watching her.   
“You know,” she began before he could get a charming word in, “you singing a song about being the devil doesn’t really convince me that you’re a stand-up guy.”  
“Well, a certain dame made me aware that I had a bad-boy reputation, so I figured I’d just embrace it. Got me a leather jacket and everything.”   
She narrowed her eyes at him, taking note of the, indeed, very new looking leather jacket.   
“That’s great, glad you’ve finally accepted your true self, James. You should probably go chat up a girl who appreciates bad boys.”   
“Or,” he said with a charming grin, “I could chat up a girl who I’m really into that assumes I’m a bad boy but is completely mistaken.”  
“This is only our second conversation. There’s no way you could be really into me at this early of a stage,” she countered immediately.   
“So, there will be future stages to our relationship?” he was smirking at her now, one eyebrow raised, and she wanted to slap the look off his face… or kiss it.  
“That’s not what I said.”  
“That’s what you implied.”  
“That’s what you assumed.”  
“Look, doll—“  
“Stop calling me doll.”  
“I don’t know your name, what else am I supposed to call you.”  
You sighed angrily. “It’s Y/N.”  
He gave you a winning smile. “Look, Y/N, I know you think I’m looking for a quick hookup, a wild night that won’t lead to anything else, but that’s the farthest thing from the truth. I’m just a simple boy from Brooklyn whose looking for something real, something meaningful. I don’t chat up women in the hope of one night of pleasure; I do it in the hope of a genuine connection.”  
“And what exactly makes you think you’d have that with me?”  
“I don’t know that I would, necessarily, but I’d love it if we could find out.”  
He was so incredibly handsome standing there before you, and, boy, did he know how to say all the right things. You could feel it, feel him reeling you in, but just before he had you like putty in his hands, you mentally slapped yourself. You weren’t stupid. You couldn’t do this to yourself once again. Bad boys had the capacity to be really exemplary human beings but really shit boyfriends. They always knew how to win a woman over just to put her through the wringer. You simply could not go there. Not again.  
He was looking at you expectantly, probably thinking you were about to give him your number.  
“No thanks,” you said before grabbing your purse and walking out from behind the bar.  
“Are you serious?”  
“Dead serious. You can talk all the sweet talk you want, but you’ve done nothing to prove to me that you’re not a carbon copy of every shitty guy I’ve ever dated. I know your type, and I know it well, James. You’re gonna have to try a lot harder to get me to swoon over your stupid luscious hair and your stupid blue eyes and your stupid perfect face.”  
His frustrated look had fallen back into a smirk by the end of your rant.  
“Don’t follow me,” you said sternly before exiting the building.


	3. Gravel.

Bucky couldn’t remember ever being rejected by a girl before. Perhaps Peggy Carter, but he didn’t think that counted because the woman had only ever had eyes for Steve. The woman at the karaoke bar, Y/N, was something else though. She hadn’t said he wasn’t charming or that he was unattractive. He didn’t believe he’d done anything to really offend her. Apparently, she was just put off by his “type.” Whatever that meant.

And Bucky was sure she had him pinned down all wrong. Yeah, he used to be an assassin, but that was all under mind control. All right fine, he used to go on a lot of different dates with a lot of different dames, but that was when he was about to go off to war and probably die. As of late, Bucky was a homebody who just wanted someone to cuddle on the couch with and watch hours of The Great British Baking Show. He wasn’t set out to break many a woman’s hearts. He just wanted love and close companionship. Y/N refused to find that out about him, though. She couldn’t see past his menacing vibranium arm and his notoriety for being a former war criminal.

“Hey Sam?” he asked his friend one morning as they ran together, “what do know about bad boys?”

“Like the movie with Will Smith?”

“What? No. This girl I met at Slurred Singing accused me of being a bad boy. She won’t give me the time of day because she’s tired of dating my type.”

“If the girl told you to leave her alone, you should leave her alone, man.”

“She didn’t say that though. I believe her exact words were ‘you’re gonna have to try a lot harder to get me to swoon.”

Sam smirked at him approvingly. “Then try a lot harder, just don’t be creepy about it. Sweep her off her feet, don’t scare her away.”

Later that day, Bucky was eating his lunch when Sam appeared out of nowhere. “scruffy, hip, not looking for trouble, but has a sense of danger about him,” the man read from his phone.

“Excuse me?” Bucky asked in confusion.

“That’s the Urban Dictionary definition of a bad boy. That’s what that woman’s impression of you is, and, to be honest, I can’t say she’s mistaken.”

“Think I’m hip, do you, Wilson?”

“Only since you’ve been hanging out with me.”

“But she is mistaken. I may appear to have a sense of danger about me, but I’m far less menacing than the likes of half the team. I don’t know how to show her that if she won’t even let me take her to dinner.”

“Maybe you could start by changing up your look? Stop being so scruffy?”

“Shave my beard?” Bucky looked horrified.

“It’ll grow back out pretty fast if you hate it. There’s nothing wrong with trying something different.”

“You have a point. I’ll shave it tomorrow, and see how it looks.”

“And your hair—“

“What about my hair?” Bucky asked while subconsciously grabbing his long locks.

“The whole Grudge vibe you have going on definitely screams danger.”

“I don’t even know what that means.”

“It’s always hanging in your face.”

“I’ll wear it in a bun more, then. I’m not buzzing my hair off, Sam.”

“I suppose that could work, but none of that half-up half-down shit you used to do. That looked terrible.”

“Gee, thanks for all the help, man,” Bucky said to him sarcastically.

The following Saturday, Bucky planned to return to the bar, but first, he had to write a letter. He sat at the small desk in his room for four hours that morning fretting over what words should be placed from his pen to the paper. He wanted to charm Y/N, to make her laugh a little bit, but also to show her his sincerity. He wasn’t sure if she would be at Slurred Signing that night, although he assumed it was her regular hang out spot on Saturdays, but it didn’t matter. He wasn’t planning on speaking to her even if she was there. He would go in, give the letter to her or some employee who could pass it along, and then he would leave. He had thought it out perfectly, even ran the plan by Steve and Sam, but now he was stuck. His mind refused to come up with the proper words to sway this woman.

When he arrived at the bar that night, there was no question of Y/N’s presence. She was on stage again, singing a Rolling Stones song of course. Something about painting a red door black. Bucky made a beeline for the bar, keeping his head down in the hopes she wouldn’t spot him. Some man named Adam was bartending, and Bucky asked him if he knew the woman on stage.

“Yes…” the man answered with his eyes narrowed.

Bucky held out an envelope. “Can you give this to her for me, please?”

“I’m going to open it first,” the man said protectively.

“That’s fine,” Bucky said with a shrug, “just please give it to her.” And then he left.

The letter had read:

Reasons why I, Bucky Barnes, am not a carbon copy of every shitty guy you’ve ever dated:

1\. I go by Bucky, not James, not Sergeant Barnes, just Bucky.

2\. I was born in 1917.

3\. I fought in World War II.

4\. My last relationship lasted nearly a year.

5\. She broke up with me because I was too boring.

6\. I spend the majority of my time with Captain America doing riveting things like recon missions. (We also devote a lot of time to fighting punching bags.)

7\. I am (well, I suppose was) a momma’s boy.

8\. I have a twenty-five pound, ferocious beagle that sleeps next to me every night and licks my face in the mornings. 

9\. My favorite show is The Great British Baking Show.

10\. I look just as sexy without a beard.

At the end of the letter, he had scribbled down his phone number. He didn’t plan to return to the karaoke bar anymore unless she texted or called him. The decision was entirely in her hands now. It was nearly midnight when he woke up to a single ping from his phone.

Unknown number: One completely platonic dinner at the karaoke bar. That’s all you’re getting. Don’t screw it up, James.


	4. Grain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day! Wow! I hope you enjoy this one as well :)

You didn’t want to admit it, but you were nervous about your not date with James. Or Bucky, as he claimed to go by, but you refused to call him that in an attempt to always keep the upper hand. Against your better judgment, you were giving him a chance, but only to be your friend; that was it. You’d sworn off his type after your last relationship with a guy named Gregg: a guy with dark hair and light eyes, a police officer. He had been just as charming as all the men before him, and just as much of a letdown as his predecessors.

It wasn’t that James Barnes didn’t seem like a nice guy on the surface, but he had that air about him that told you it was risky to ever get involved. Heartbreak was imminent with a guy like James, and you’d had a lifetime’s worth of those. So, you’d friend-zone him if he continued to insist on getting dinner together. Then, you planned to find a nice, gentlemanly fellow to hold your heart carefully. Someone like Steve Rogers. Too bad you weren’t attracted to that man at all or you would have asked James to pass along your number. You cursed yourself for always only being drawn to men like the Winter Soldier. 

“You’re here a little early,” Adam said when you walked into the bar two hours before James was supposed to arrive.

“I figured I could help out at the bar before dinner,” you replied with a shrug.

“If you think I’m letting you bartend before your hot date, you’re crazy.”

“It’s not a hot date. It’s not even a date at all. It’s a not date; a platonic dinner.”

“Riiiiiight….”

“Why are you trying to encourage this? Do you really want me moping on your couch for weeks after I’ve given it a go and he’s broken my heart into a million pieces?”

He was silent for a moment. “Here’s a thought…” he finally said.

“Shoot.”

“How long did it take Gregg to switch from charming and sweet to a shitty boyfriend?”

“Two months.”

“And how long was it before Eli cheated on you?”

“About a month and a half.”

“And for you to get tired of Paul’s selfish ways?”

“I don’t remember. Couldn’t have been much longer than eight weeks though.”

“See where I’m going with this?”

“No clue.”

“Be his friend for two months, three months if you want to push it, and then you’ll know what kind of a guy he is. If he’s really the same as all your exes, you’ll know within a couple of months.”

“Adam, you know the only guy I’ve ever really been able to be friends with is you. And James is almost magnetic. How can I draw a firm friend-line for two solid months with a guy who looks like that?”

“I’m sure it will be absolute torture, but that’s one of your three choices. The other two are never speak to the guy again or jump in headfirst and possibly get hurt. Change things up a little, Y/N. Go against the grain.”

You sat on a barstool contemplating Adam’s advice for a long moment. “I’m beginning to see the wisdom in your words, dear friend,” you finally told him.

“So, that’s what you’ll do?”

“That’s what I’ll do. Should I tell him, though? That he’s on a two-month friendship probation?”

“No. You’ll run the risk of having staged results.” You both laughed at that.

When Bucky found you hours later lounging in a booth, you almost dropped the notion of friendship right then. He looked absolutely gorgeous clean-shaven, and god could he pull off a man bun.

“I thought you were joking about shaving your beard,” you said to him in greeting.

“Nope. I was dead serious.”

“I don’t know about the ‘just as sexy part,” you joked, but under your breath, you muttered, “much sexier.”

Thankfully, he had not heard you. “Sorry to disappoint,” was all he said.

“I’m just messing with you,” you assured him and shrugged it off.

“So, what exactly takes place during a platonic dinner?”

“I dunno. What do you and Captain America get up to when you grab a bite together?”

“Talk about work,” he responded while studying the menu, “and women.”

“Well, there you go. Tell me all about your top-secret job, and then tell me all about the women you’ve fucked.”

He gave you an incredulous look. “I’m going to assume you’re joking.”

“Good call.” You were smirking now. Making James Barnes squirm was quite fun.

A server came and took your orders, and then things fell silent over the table. It was awkward, but you took the opportunity to observe the man as he fiddled with his silverware. You realized that he was nervous. Very nervous. In your past encounters, he had always known the perfect thing to say, never letting uncomfortable silence grow between the two of you. Now, you could tell he was struggling.

“What’s your favorite color, James?”

“Are you going to insist on calling me that?”

“Yes. Now, what’s your favorite color?”

He hesitated for a moment before saying, “Black.”

You burst out laughing. “Of course it is, bad boy.”

“It’s just the most flattering color to wear, is all.”

This caused you to giggle even more. “Yeah, the most flattering color for a dangerous man.”

“Well, what’s your favorite color, then?”

“Blue.”

“Like sky-blue?”

“No,” but you didn’t explain which shade of blue because you were afraid he’d realize that your favorite color is the color of his eyes.

Your food arrived at the table, and the two of you made more small talk as you ate. You learned that his dog’s name was Greer, and you confessed that you had always wanted a dog but never gotten one for some reason. He offered to let you come on walks with him and Greer, to which you didn’t respond, not wanting to make any promises before this first not date had even ended.

Once you had finished most of your plate, you grew tired of trying to make pleasant conversation. You stood from the table and grabbed his arm.

“Come on, let’s each sing something.”

“We could sing something together,” James suggested.

“I don’t usually do duets. I’m more of a solo artist.”

“Maybe you could make an exception for me?” Man, he was really trying to get you to swoon tonight.

“Fine. But I only sing songs by The Rolling Stones. It’s kind of my thing.”

“I know,” was all he said as you approached the stage together.

He selected the song, and you each took a microphone.

“Yeah, you got satin shoes,” James started off, and you were already lost, both in the song and in the man singing before you. It was electric, the melodies you exchanged, and you wondered why you had never sung karaoke with a man before. You got to experience firsthand his carefree nature, his entertainment at your horrible singing voice, and his absolute delight when you looked him straight in the eye and sang only to him. The awkwardness over dinner was forgotten, and you thought maybe you could see just a glimpse of who exactly Bucky was; your hasty judgments about James slowly starting to slip away.


	5. Pebble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to those who are following this story. Please leave a comment if you enjoy this chapter. Anything you have to say is appreciated :)

“How’d your date go, man?”

“It wasn’t a date,” Bucky answered Sam glumly. They were in the gym, again. He was pretty sure that the three of them spent at least two-thirds of their time in this place.

“You had dinner with her, how is that not a date?” Steve questioned, slamming his fists into a punching bag.

“It was a completely platonic dinner.” Steve and Sam both snorted at him. “Those were her words.”

“Surely by the end of the night, you’d changed her mind?” asked Sam.

“I dunno. Conversation was pretty awkward. She kept trying to get under my skin, and it made me nervous, threw me off my game. Sometimes, she just has this way of making me feel so small.”

“Then why are you into her?” Steve pointed out wisely.

“It’s hard to say. Maybe it was just her looks at first, she’s absolutely stunning, or maybe the karaoke thing, that really amused and allured me at the same time; but when I spoke to her, she just seemed so drastically different from the women I’ve tried to make it work with before. My past girlfriends would take an interest in me because they thought I’d be living some exciting life of danger and they’d get to be a part of it. Y/N makes that very same assumption about me, and it turns her away.”

“So you’re turned on by a woman being turned off by you? That’s fucked up.”

Bucky rolled his eyes at Sam. “No. I just mean that it’s refreshing to meet a woman who isn’t so miserable with her normal life that she wants to date a former assassin just to experience the thrill of almost dying or something. Y/N seems perfectly happy with her ordinary life, and I just think she’d be the one woman to accept that I want to live a normal, boring life as well.”

Steve nodded in understanding. “So, the date ended awkwardly?”

“No, the ending was good. We sang together, and it felt really fun and natural. I told her that I’d had a really good time and left after that.”

Sam chimed in once again. “And you kissed her?”

“I’m pretty sure she would have head-butted me if I had tried to kiss her.”

“Ouch.”

“Maybe just send her a text message today,” Steve suggested. “Ask her out for another platonic get-together.”

Bucky found himself back at his apartment, lounging on the sofa, exhausted from his workout. Greer lay across his chest in a constant effort to lick his sweaty face. His hand shook slightly from nerves as he held his phone and typed out a message to Y/N. He was so out of sorts over this woman; it was maddening.

Bucky: Hi. I had a really good time the other night. I was wondering if you’d want to take Greer to the park with me today. We could maybe grab lunch from a food truck or something?

Rolling Stone: Sure… friend.

Bucky: Yeah, yeah. Completely platonic. I got it.

Rolling Stone: Which park?

Bucky: The one on 141st. I can pick you up if you’d like.

Rolling Stone: I’ll meet you there at… 1?

Bucky looked at the time, 11:30, and realized he had to jump in the shower soon if he was going to make it to the park by one.

Bucky: See you then :)

The entire time he was in the shower, he cursed himself for sending that stupid smiley face at the end of the text. If she hadn’t thought he was a creep before, she definitely would now.

Greer bounced around in the passenger’s seat of his car with her tongue hanging out the entire ride to the park. She wanted him to roll the window down, but if he did that, she’d try to jump out of the vehicle. Bucky had learned that the hard way when about a year ago he had pulled up at a stop sign and looked over to find that his dog had disappeared. Luckily, he’d put the car in park and immediately found her sniffing around his tires. From then on, the windows stayed up, and he blasted the A/C in an effort to make her feel like she had the wind in her face.

He had no idea what sort of car Y/N drove, so he meandered around the park entrance with Greer until he spotted her. She wore shorts with a flowy button-up blouse. The spring air was cool, so he hoped she didn’t get a chill as they walked. Her hair was tied up on a high bun on the very top of her head, and it was the first time Bucky could see her entire face at once, not having her long locks covering her ears. She wore no jewelry or makeup, a drastic difference from her nights at the bar, but Bucky adored her just as much this way. She greeted his dog before even sparing him a glance, dropping to her knees and letting Greer put her front paws up on her shoulders. Greer, of course, took the opportunity to give her a big lick on the cheek.

Y/N cooed over the adorable pup. “Aren’t you just the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen? Yes you are, Greer, yes you are.” She was scratching the top of the beagle’s head now, and Bucky knew that his dog would let her do that all day if Y/N would be so willing. “Your dad didn’t warn me that you’d kill me straight away with these adorable floppy ears.” She was holding said ears in her hands and rubbing them gently. Bucky remained silent, standing above them and giving her all the time in the world to fawn over his dog.

When she finally got back to her feet, Bucky raised one eyebrow at her and said, “Hi.” He thought his voice sounded a little breathless for some reason.

“Hi. Cute dog you’ve got here.”

“Yeah, she’s one of a kind,” Bucky replied, that breathlessness still there. Y/N gave him a strange look in response.

They made several laps around the park, Greer trotting happily at his left side while Y/N strolled along at his right. They chatted more comfortably this time, and Bucky learned a few things about the mysterious woman. She wasn’t close to any of her family anymore, and that guy from the bar, Adam, was her best friend whom she treated like a brother. Not wanting to pry, he didn’t ask her why she didn’t speak to her family, but he did ask her where she worked. She told him she worked in accounting at some forgettable business office, and Bucky could tell that she found her job quite uneventful but at the same time did not seem to be bothered by the boring work.

“So when I saw you bartending that one night…?”

“I just do that for fun when Adam needs the extra help. I don’t get up to much else on the weekends.”

“No partying, clubbing, anything like that?”

“Nope. Slurred Signing is my spot. What about you? What do you do on the weekends when you’re not stalking women in karaoke bars?”

Bucky’s face turned beet-red. “I was not stalking you!”

“Sure… Seriously though, what do you do for fun?”

“I spend far too much time in the gym because all Steve and Sam ever want to do is work out. Occasionally, we all grab dinner somewhere fancy, but that’s more for special occasions. Like I said, I devote myself to watching a lot of The Great British Baking Show.”

“I still won’t believe you about that until I see it with my own two eyes.”

“It’s the truth. Everything I know about cookin’ I learned from that show.”

“So you can cook, huh? That’s not a typical bad boy skill.”

“And as I’ve said before, I’m not the type of guy you think I am.”

“We shall see,” she delivered with a smirk.

They wandered over to the array of food trucks and ordered some yummy smelling Vietnamese cuisine. As they ate in peaceful silence on a park bench, Greer whined at Bucky’s feet in the hopes of getting a bite.

“You should let me cook for you sometime,” he offered to Y/N.

“I’m a fine cook. I don’t need someone to cook for me.”

“I didn’t say that you did. I just thought it might be fun to spend some more time with you and make you a nice meal.”

“Or… we could do things British Baking Show style and have a proper cooking competition.”

Bucky snorted at her silly idea. “Who would be the judge? Greer?”

“Of course not. Who better to judge a cooking competition than a famous special guest? Have Captain America do it. The Falcon can come too, I suppose.”

Bucky was shaking his head and trying to fight down his dopey grin. “You’re serious?”

“Absolutely.” She was standing up from the bench. “I’ve gotta go, but we should do this competition sometime next week. I’ll text you about the details, yeah?”

“Okay,” Bucky said, breathless and grinning like a madman and feeling so infinitesimally small in comparison to the brilliantly large personality that was Y/N.


	6. Boulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy, my loves!

It was the following Sunday when you were supposed to go over to James’ house for the cooking competition. He had assured you that the famous guest judge would be there. You had texted each other all week about the details, deciding that you would each bake your own version of the same two dishes. He got to pick which entrée you both had to prepare, and you got to pick the dessert.

Throughout your frequent text conversations, the man had been flirting pretty hard. You tried your best to dodge his sexy quips and seductive allusions at every turn. But it was rough. He’d sent you a selfie of himself and Greer snuggled in bed the other night, and it had been the most adorable thing you’d ever seen. It had also been incredibly hot considering he hadn’t been wearing a shirt. You knew he was trying very hard to make you think he was just a big ole softie, but you had prepared yourself for such tricks. You had replied to the photo with something along the lines of “Awe, Greer is so cute just before bed.” You knew that’d really annoy him.

Today was the day, though, that you had to see him in person once again. It was your own damn fault, really; you were the one that suggested the competition, but it had been out of panic when he had mentioned cooking for you. You had pictured a romantic evening of him lighting candles and pouring you a glass of wine as he served you some delicious dish, and you knew that if you put yourself in that situation, you would certainly fall into bed with him. That could not happen until he passed his friendship probation. So, you thought making him invite his other friends would at least ease the flirting and sexual tension between the two of you that the bastard was constantly trying to create.

You knocked on James’ door at four in the afternoon, and a very tall, very broad-shouldered, blond guy answered it.

“Hi, I’m Steve. It’s nice to finally meet you.” He held out his huge hand to you.

You grabbed it and gave it the firmest shake you could muster in an effort to show you would not be intimidated by Captain America. “Uh, likewise. I’m Y/N.”

“Right. Come on in. Bucky’s already in the kitchen.”

You followed him and found Bucky holding a beer in one hand and pulling random ingredients from the pantry and placing them on the island with the other hand.

“Drinking already. Do you want to lose, Barnes?”

“I can drink all I want and never get buzzed. I promise you you’ll be the one losing, darlin’.” He was smirking at you as he brought the beer to his lips and took a big swig.

Sam Wilson wandered into the kitchen as well, and you could hear what sounded like some sort of sports game blaring on the TV in the living room.

“I’m warning you both my mamma is the best cook in the world, so I’ll be judging both your dishes against her cooking.”

“Well, we wouldn’t know how good of a cook your ma is, Sam, ‘cause you never invite us around when you go to her house for dinner,” James told him.

“Yeah, you could at least start bringing back leftovers,” Steve added.

Sam ignored them both, turning his attention to you. “What are you going to be making?”

“Well, this one,” you pointed your thumb at James, “insisted on steak for the entrée because he’s a typical male. For the dessert, we’re both doing a rendition of Mille-feuille.”

“A what?” Steve wondered.

“A French dessert. You’ll like it, I promise… or you’ll like mine anyways.”

James grinned at her. “You just love talkin’ shit, don’t you?”

You simply shrugged in response.

The cooking match officially started not long after, Steve setting a timer and leaving the two of you to your own devices as he and Sam went back to watching baseball. It took exactly forty-five seconds for you to discover that James Buchanan Barnes was a goddamn cheater. He kept bumping you with his hip every time he walked by, throwing random pieces of food in your hair, and changing the temperature on your burners. You were about ready to whack him upside the head with a skillet if he didn’t cut it out.

“Thought we were doing this fair and square, Bucky.”

His eyes lit up, and you realized your mistake. “I mean James!”

“Nuh-uh, you can’t take it back.” He looked so fucking smug, your fingers tightened around the handle of the skillet you were managing. “You called me Bucky, can’t go back to calling me James now.”

“I can do whatever I want. I certainly don’t want to give you the satisfaction of hearing me call you by that ridiculous nickname ever again.”

He was suddenly standing right behind you, his chest against your back. He reached his metal hand up and gently brushed your stray hairs out of your face before leaning into your ear. “I bet I could get you to moan it in satisfaction,” he whispered. Your breath hitched, and you promptly elbowed him in the gut.

“Nice try, James. Focus on your steak.”

He pretended to be wounded, but you knew it took much more than that to injure a super-soldier. As the two of you flew back and forth through the kitchen, nearly sweating from both the heat and the intensity of the rivalry, you took note of a feeling you only seemed to have when spending time with James. It was like he made you feel larger than life, like you were the world, like you were everything. Something you had realized about yourself a long time ago: you were fantastic at making people feel small. This man, however, seemed to have the opposite superpower: he was incredible at making people feel grand, as if their essence could fill up an entire room. You reluctantly admitted to yourself that you very much enjoyed this feeling he gave you.

An hour later, the four of you were all drinking beers in front of the TV toasting your close victory over James. Greer was resting happily on the floor, her head draped over your feet.

“Some things just can’t be learned from a TV show, James.”

Steve and Sam both chuckled. “Shut up,” he tried to pout but failed to prevent the small smile that was creeping up.


	7. Gem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I am shamelessly begging you to please leave a comment if you enjoy this chapter. The story really picks up here (I'm sorry if it's felt sort of slow going up to this point). Anyway, there is some angst in the future, but I promise there will be a happy ending.

It had been a month, a whole month since that first dinner at the karaoke bar; yet, despite all the flirting and smoldering eyes and lingering touches, Bucky still had not gotten Y/N to admit that she wanted anything more than friendship with him. They’d spent many days together, walking Greer in the park, watching TV at his apartment, singing duets at the bar, and talking. Talking about things Bucky had never really talked to anyone else about, except maybe Steve. Talking about things that were so genuine and telling, he felt like he knew the exact layout of Y/N’s soul, had it memorized front to back.

He was falling for the sassy dame, the excellent cook, the adorable dog lover, the terrible singer, his friend. Bucky had made an effort to be entirely honest with her about anything and everything she wanted to know; so, he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what was holding her back from being more than friends with him. Of course, he hadn’t actually asked her why she was holding back. He was afraid of what sort of answer he might get.

Tonight, most of the team was at Slurred Signing again because Natasha wanted to meet his not girlfriend. They were even joined by Tony and Pepper this time, much to Bucky’s dismay.

“Is she here yet?” Nat asked while eyeing the entrance. They were sat at the same large booth as the night of Clint’s birthday.

“Not yet,” Bucky said with annoyance. “I really don’t understand why this is such a big deal, guys. You were never this enthusiastic about meeting Kathryn when I was dating her.”

“Because you weren’t smitten with Kathryn,” said Tony. “It was obvious to everyone that that relationship wouldn’t work out. This thing with karaoke girl seems completely different, everyone can tell. Not to mention, I’d love to meet the woman who has friend-zoned Bucky Barnes. She’s a legend.”

Bucky ignored the man. He had spotted Y/N walking in and heading over to the bar to talk to Adam. She knew Bucky would be here tonight, but he hadn’t warned her that he’d have quite so many friends with him. He got up from the booth without another word to the irritating Avengers.

She was turned away from him when he approached the bar, and he took the moment to appreciate her lovely frame. The woman was stunning, and he just wished one of these days she’d let him tell her so.

“You’re late,” he said as he slid up next to her.

“Yeah, well, Adam called to warn me that the entire cast of Earth’s Mightiest Heros was here, so I had to take a little extra time to get dolled up.”

“You wouldn’t have gotten all dolled up just for me?”

“Course not, Barnes.” He’d figured out long ago not to take offense to her jibes when she said them with that sparkle in her eye. He knew she was just trying to get under his skin. She loved to see him in a flustered state.

He held his hand out for her. “You ready to meet the Addam’s Family?”

“Oh, and which member are you?”

“Gomez Addams, obviously,” he replied as they walked together to the booth.

“No, I don’t see it. I think you’re more of a Thing.”

Bucky put his left hand over his heart. “Ouch, that one hurt a little, darlin.”

“I thought super-soldiers such as yourself were invincible.”

“Not to pretty dames like you,” he said coolly just before they stood in front of the group’s table.

“So, Y/N, this is Natasha, Bruce, Tony, Pepper, Scott, Hope, and well you already met Steve. Everyone, this is Y/N, my uh… friend.” Bucky noticed the cringes on a few of the team’s faces.

“It’s so nice to meet you all,” Y/N said in a bubbly tone that Bucky had never heard her use with him. So, that was how it was going to be: she’d be an absolute gem to everyone else but a fiery, mouthy gal to Bucky. He supposed he couldn’t be too upset for he quite liked her fiery nature.

She sat down next to Natasha, and Bucky tried not to be too concerned about the hundreds of questions the two of them immediately started asking each other. Tony tried to bring up the topic of why Bucky and Y/N weren’t dating, but Bucky shut him down pretty quickly. She seemed to fit right in with the team, and Bucky relaxed and drank his beer, conversing quietly with Steve while Y/N charmed the pants off everyone at the booth. At some point, the four women decided to sing a song together, and Bucky smiled to himself as he watched Y/N shimmy and dance around on the stage with the other women, all singing Gimme Shelter.

Eventually, the team had to leave, and Bucky asked Y/N if she had driven to the bar.

“No, I walked.”

“All right, I’ll drive you back. I don’t want you walking home alone.” He figured she’d protest. She always argued with nearly everything he said, but this time she looked at him with a strange intensity and agreed to let him drive her. She followed him out to the dark parking lot, and he held the passenger door of his car open for her. He walked around to the other side, got in, and turned the ignition.

Before he could put the car in drive, Y/N was halfway out of her seat and her lips were on his. She kissed him passionately, and Bucky’s brain froze as he tried to process what was happening. At first, he worried that she was drunk, but he hadn’t seen her take a single sip of alcohol throughout the night, and Bucky couldn’t taste any on her tongue. For some unknown reason, the cold shoulder she’d been giving him had suddenly turned into a heated entanglement, and Bucky had to muster all his strength to pull away.

“Darlin, are you sure you want to be doing this? Here of all places?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t want me, Barnes.”

“Of course I want you. God, it’s insane how much I want you, but you’ve been saying you only wanted to be friends for a month now. What’s changed?”

She was leaving hot kisses up his neck and across his smooth jawline. “Just tired of fighting it, James.” She was relentless as she pushed her hands under his shirt, raking her nails over his abs, and then moved to the button of his pants.

He wished he had the will power to deny her. This had to be a huge mistake they were about to commit. She still wouldn’t even call him Bucky for fuck’s sake. And why were they in a car in a public parking lot rather than in his comfy king-sized bed? She was everything Bucky wanted, but the way she was giving it to him had Bucky terrified that it was all about to be pulled away once again.

“Are you certain you want this, Y/N?” He asked one more time, hoping beyond hope that she wouldn’t regret this the next day.

She finally managed to undo his fly and was hiking up her skirt as she whispered huskily. “Yes, Bucky. Now fuck me.” And that use of his nickname made him give in to her completely, consequences be damned.


	8. Weight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this clears some things up, and that you all have a better understanding of the reader character now.

The sunlight was peeking through your sheer bedroom curtains, and you let out a groan as you rolled to your other side, facing away from the window. You felt like a piece of shit. God, you were a piece of shit. You’d had sex with Bucky last night. In his car. In public. Had you wanted to? Definitely. But were you really in a place last night to make reasonable decisions. Definitely not. You were sure Bucky suspected that you weren’t fully there with him last night, but he had given in to your pleas nonetheless. You felt dirty, like you had used the man. The wonderful man who always put up with your attitude. The wonderful man who you were slowly falling in love with. The wonderful man that you couldn’t be around without also feeling an aching grief from a very long time ago.

Your phone rang. It was Adam.

“Hey, you doing okay today?”

“This year’s not as bad as others have been, but I still had Reggie cover the bar for me so that I could spend the day with you at home. I’m headed over now with bagels and tea.”

You felt tears well up in your eyes. “Thank you, Adam. I don’t know how I could have survived these past ten years without you.”

“Likewise. I’ll see you soon.”

Today was the anniversary of Adam’s brother’s death. His brother who had been a year older than Adam and yourself. His brother who you had also met in college. His brother who you had fallen in love with, who you had been engaged to. His brother who had died in a motorcycle accident before the two of you could be married.

It had been so long ago; you and Adam were both juniors and Dex had been a senior. Your college years were a whirlwind, Dex sweeping you off your feet every time he looked your way. He had been so different from Adam; where Adam was a typical studious business nerd, Dex had a passion for philosophy. He rode a motorcycle and wore the same black boots every day for years. And he would play The Rolling Stones on repeat until everyone else never wanted to hear a song of theirs ever again. Most people would have assumed him to be a real jerk, but he had the biggest heart you’d ever had the pleasure of holding in your grasp.

There was a knock at your door, and you finally got out of bed to let Adam in. As you opened the door, your best friend saw your red-rimmed eyes and immediately pulled you in for a hug. You didn’t say much to each other until you were sitting on the couch sipping your tea.

“You seem to be taking it harder this year than you have for the past few,” Adam noted. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“I fucked up really bad last night, Adam,” you admitted with a sob.

“How so?”

“I slept with Bucky last night,” you were so ashamed to admit it.

Adam placed his hand on your back, rubbing it in soothing circles. “Talk me through it. Why is that bad? I mean, I know you had wanted to wait a bit longer, but you two clearly get on so well.”

“I don’t know what I was thinking… that’s a lie… I know exactly what I was thinking… I was thinking about Dex and today… and how much Bucky reminds me of him sometimes… and yes I’ve wanted to sleep with Bucky since the moment I met him… but not like that… not with the grief of my dead ex-fiancé consuming me… not in his car like some randy teenagers.” You dropped your face into your hands.

“Is that what this whole thing with Bucky has been about? You’re afraid to let yourself be with him because he reminds you too much of Dex?”

You could only nod your head in agreement.

“Y/N, look at me.” You did so begrudgingly. “It’s been ten years. I don’t think Dex would have a problem with you finding happiness in a man who might bare a slight resemblance to him in looks and personality. So you have a type, that’s not a crime.”

“It’s just easier to date men who I know will be assholes. It makes it easier when I eventually lose them.”

“Yeah, and you’ve been doing that for years now. How has that worked out for you? Are you happy? Have you properly moved on from Dex?”

“No.”

“Exactly.”

You were silent for a very long time. Adam finished his tea before you eventually confessed, “The first time I saw Bucky, I knew he’d be that type.”

“What type?”

“The type that looks like he’ll wreck your heart but instead holds it more dearly than any man you’ve ever met.” You picked at the pieces of your bagel you still hadn’t finished. “I knew he wasn’t dangerous. I knew he wasn’t the type to sleep around. I knew he’d be intelligent and thoughtful. So, I tried pushing him away because how could I let someone so incredible in when Dex was already filling that spot.”

“And now you’ve slept with him.”

“And now I’ve slept with him. In a completely fucked up way. I’ve been in denial for a month, telling myself that Bucky was a bad boy and that I’m so done with dating assholes. But really I was hoping he’d prove me right. I wanted him to fuck up so that I could see he wasn’t as good of a man as Dex.”

“I think you need to talk to Bucky. Soon. You need to tell him about Dex, and you need to explain to him what’s really been going on with you since the two of you met.”

“He’s going to hate me.”

“No, he won’t. Just start with the part about how you’re falling in love with him. He won’t be able to hate you for anything you say after that,” Adam assured you with a laugh.

He stayed at your place all day, the two of you listening to music and baking cookies together. When he left late in the evening, you stared glumly at your phone. You knew it would be better to have this discussion with Bucky in person, but you really didn’t think you would be able to get the words out if you had to look into those piercing eyes. You scrolled through your contacts until you found his number, and then you pressed dial.


	9. Crystal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like these two chapters needed to go out at the same time. Enjoy!

Things had seemed awkward last night after they had finished. Y/N had climbed back over to her seat, and Bucky had driven her home. She gave him a chaste kiss before getting out of his car, but there had been turmoil in her eyes. Bucky could see it plain as day.

A part of him allowed hope that she would let him take her on a proper date now. He thought there was a chance he might be able to call her beautiful and get away with it or put his arm around her when they watched TV. He wondered if she would let him stand behind her when she was cooking and let him kiss along her neck as he pulled her hair out of the way. That optimistic part of him hoped that she’d let him make love to her in an actual bed next time.

He stared at his phone all day waiting for a text or a call, any sign to show him that things were good between the two of them. He waited despite having a suspicion that the call would never come.

Surprisingly, it did come. Late in the evening, he had been dozing off on his couch when the ringing caused him to jerk awake.

“Hello?”

“Hey Bucky, I think we need to talk about some things.”

He closed his eyes in dread. He didn’t like the way that had sounded. “Yeah, I figured.”

“Look, first I just have to assure you that what happened last night will never happen again. I—”

“What?”

“If you’ll just let me get this out.”

“Are you serious? I knew you’d fucking do this to me, Y/N.”

“Wait, what is that supposed to mean?”

“I’ll tell you what it means! You say you’re so sick of dating guys that will sleep with you and then break your heart. But that’s a damn lie. You love dating men that are terrible for you. You can’t wait for them to slip up and be the bad guy so that you don’t have to.”

“Bucky please. Just listen to me for a second.”

“You are a goddamn rolling stone. I can’t believe I ever thought any different.”

“Huh? What on earth are you on about?”

“That fucking saying: a rolling stone gathers no moss. You’re constantly jumping from one guy to the next, always afraid to commit. You’ve been waiting this whole time for me to be the bad guy so you could move on without a second glance, but you’re the shitty person in this relationship. Not me. I’ve shown you nothing but love and respect for a month now, but in return, you only hold me at arm’s length.”

“Bucky, please just stop talking.”

“And then last night you finally act like you give a damn about me, and then immediately pull the rug out from under my feet a day later. What is wrong with you? You’ve probably never had a serious relationship in your life. And this is why!”

“You don’t know a fucking thing about me, James Barnes.” Her tone was deadly.

“You’re wrong. I see right through you, Y/N. I know exactly who you are now. I’ll admit I couldn’t quite wrap my head around you at first, but now, it’s crystal fucking clear! And I was mad to think the two of us would ever be good together.”

“Bucky, wait!” he heard her beg, but he quickly hung up the phone.

Over the course of the next three days, Y/N spammed his phone with texts. They started out as pleas for him to call her back. Then, she begged him to meet her in person so they could talk things through like adults without hanging up the phone. When she finally messaged that she was coming to his apartment, he had to reply to tell her not to bother because he wouldn’t be answering the door.

He’d never been so heartbroken over a woman in his life. He had no idea how it’d happened, they’d only known each other for a little over a month. Yet, thoughts of her always filled his mind, and Bucky had thought himself perfectly content to have her in any way that she would offer to him. Now though, he couldn’t go back to being friends with her. Not now that he knew what her lips tasted like, what her body felt like as it moved against his. And he was in love with her. If she didn’t return his feelings, it was better to cut things off completely.

On the fourth day after their fight, Steve came over to watch a game of baseball on TV with him.

“You’ve been MIA since Saturday night. What’s the deal, Buck?”

“Y/N and I are done.”

Steve’s brows furrowed in confusion. “How’d that happen?”

Bucky told him the whole story, the entire perplexing and frustrating story.

“It doesn’t really seem like you gave her much opportunity to explain herself,” Steve said once Bucky had finished.

“I didn’t need to. I already knew what she was going to say: sleeping with me was a mistake and we should just go back to being friends.”

“But you don’t know that, Buck, not for certain.”

Bucky shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. Want a beer?” he got up and headed to the kitchen. While he was browsing his refrigerator, looking for the bottles that he knew had been in there somewhere, Steve hollered from the living room that Bucky had gotten a text from Y/N.

“Probably still asking me to call her back, right?”

There was silence as he assumed Steve was grabbing his phone and reading the message. “Um, no. I think you’ll want to read this one.”

Bucky sighed as he finally pulled two bottles out from the back of the fridge. He returned to the living room, sat the beers down on the coffee table, and took his phone from Steve. There were two recent messages from her. They read:

Rolling Stone: Reasons why I, Y/F/N Y/L/N, pushed you away despite being in love with you.

Rolling Stone: One. I have been in a very serious relationship before, but that was ten years ago.

Bucky’s eyebrows raised as he read the texts. He looked at Steve, hoping his best friend would tell him how to respond to this situation, but Steve seemed just as baffled as Bucky felt.

“I guess I should wait for the rest of the reasons before I respond, huh?”

“Probably, yeah,” Steve agreed.


	10. Rubble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like my Bucky/reader writing, go check out my completed fic Wish You Were Here. Enjoy this chapter!

You’d sent the first reason and then waited. You didn’t want to text them all at once in case Bucky just decided to shoot back a “Stop texting me.” Ten minutes later you sent another.

Y/N: Two. His name was Dex. We met in college. We were engaged.

When half an hour went by, and you didn’t receive a response, you typed out the next one.

Y/N: Three. I was madly in love with him, and he died.

You waited two more hours this time. Still nothing.

Y/N: Four. You remind me so much of him, Bucky.

Y/N: Five. I’ve been dating assholes for ten years because I never wanted to fall in love the way I did with Dex.

Just before bed, you sent out another message.

Y/N: Six. I told myself I didn’t want to date you because I thought you would turn out to be an asshole, but in reality, I didn’t want to date you because I knew you’d turn out not to be.

You took some over the counter sleeping medicine because you knew without it you wouldn’t sleep a wink, restlessly awaiting what Bucky might think of your confessions. When you woke up a little groggy as your alarm went off for work, you grabbed your phone with immense hope, thinking he would have surely responded by now. You furrowed your brow in disappointment when you saw that you still had no new messages.

Y/N: Seven. Despite my best efforts to the contrary, it’s happening all over again. I’ve fallen in love with a man who’s rough on the outside but incredibly soft on the inside.

Y/N: Eight. I knew you would do this to me, Bucky Barnes. I knew you’d make it impossible for me to live without you.

The hours at work moved at a glacial pace. You subtly checked your phone every ten minutes, each time feeling more and more defeated when your emotional texts had gone ignored. Finally, at lunch, you tried for a ninth time.

Y/N: Nine. I’m terrified of losing you as well.

By the end of the workday, you were nearly in tears. You knew you had screwed things up very badly with Bucky. You had really thought confessing the whole truth to him would have been the best way to go, but it seemed not even that could clear through the rubble you had created when you destroyed this relationship. You told yourself you would send one final text and then leave the rest up to Bucky.

Y/N: Ten. I’m a self-destructive idiot who has no good excuse for pushing such a considerate and loving guy like you away. I’m genuinely sorry Bucky. I hope one day we can pick up the pieces because I’ve learned my lesson now. I am ready to commit to you, despite the risk.

You didn’t typically mope around Slurred Signing on weeknights, but desperate times and all that. You had to do something to get you out of the misery that was your quiet apartment. You sat on a barstool, sipping your tonic with a permanent frown.

“You’re really killing the vibe around here,” Adam chastised you as he cleaned some wine glasses.

“What vibe? It’s a Thursday night.”

“Look, that was a lot of heavy information to give him in the span of twenty-four hours. I’m sure he’s just taking time to process. I know he won’t ignore you forever.”

“Do you though? He seemed pretty fed up with me on that phone call.”

“You said it yourself, he’s a lot like Dex. My brother could never stay mad at you for longer than a week. I guarantee Bucky is the same.”

You finally let your face fall into a small smile. Adam was the best pseudo-family you could have ever asked for.

“Now, why don’t you go sing a song to cheer you up?”

“It’s not that kind of night, Adam.”

“Fine. Just keep scaring all the customers away with your depressing face,” he joked and swatted you gently with his cleaning towel before walking away.

You were still giving your drink a melancholy stare when a familiar voice on the karaoke stage caused you to swivel in your chair. Bucky was there on stage, looking at you and singing “Wild horses couldn’t drag me away.” You swore your heart stopped beating for a long moment. His beard had grown back out some, and his hair was out of that bun he’d been wearing constantly for the past month. He looked more like himself than you’d ever seen him. You understood the stark difference: he was no longer trying to convince you of anything, he was unapologetically himself.

You sat there waiting. Waiting for him to finish your favorite song. Waiting to see what he’d do once he stepped off that stage because unlike the last time he showed up for a surprise serenade, you didn’t think he was doing this to win you over. Of course, he didn’t need to win you over, you were already won. But there was the possibility that this was an “I’m over you. I don’t need you” sort of stunt. Your instincts told you he wasn’t the type to do something like that, though. Your gut allowed you to believe that this might be Bucky’s way of expressing his forgiveness.

Once the music faded away, Bucky looked you dead in the eye and nodded his head to the exit. Your hands were shaking as you stood to meet him outside.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” was the first thing out of his mouth.

“I was almost married once, but he died’ just doesn’t seem like the kind of thing to bring up to men I meet in bars.”

“Yeah, maybe not the first week or two, but we were spending so much time together, Y/N, and a large majority of that time was spent talking about ourselves. I told you so many difficult truths about my life. There were plenty of moments for you to open up about this.”

You looked down at your feet, feeling the shame consume you. “I couldn’t tell you why I was pushing you away, Bucky. Then you wouldn’t have let me do it anymore.”

“Okay, so you pushed me away. You succeeded. Then, why reel me back in as soon as it was done?”

“You know that saying ‘better to have loved and lost’? I thought about Dex, and I realized that if someone gave me the chance to have never loved him so that it didn’t have to hurt this bad, I wouldn’t have taken it. I would rather remember him with love and grief than to never have known him at all.” When you met Bucky’s eyes, he still looked pretty unsure, so you continued. “I know now that I would rather have you for whatever time we’re given than to live with a life of regret. The way I feel about you is everything, Bucky, and I’ll embrace that feeling despite the possibility of it being ripped from my grasp in the final hour.”

He stepped closer to you.

“I know I seem really… tough… but please don’t do this to me again. Please say you won’t break my heart anymore.”

You made sure that the utmost sincerity was shining through your eyes when you said, “I won’t hurt you anymore, I swear it.”

The kiss you shared then was wet from tears, both yours and his, and it felt like you were sealing the deal. Bucky was allowing himself to be vulnerable with you once more, and you wouldn’t mess it up this time.


	11. Metal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I uploaded a new drabble for my Wish You Were Here series. Go check that out if you haven't already! Enjoy :)

Bucky had thought everything was resolved. Y/N had apologized and made her confessions of love, and Bucky had started to understand her perspective. He had held her tightly outside the bar the other night as they cried in each other’s arms. When they parted ways, he promised to take her out on a real date sometime soon. They had talked regularly for two days after that, both over calls and texts.

Monday night Bucky was free from Avengers duties, so he asked Y/N to go to the theatre with him. They shared a tub of greasy popcorn and a large Root beer. Bucky had wrapped his arm around her through most of the movie, and in return, she rested her legs on his lap. The movie had been a funny one, and Y/N had to bury her face in his shirt multiple times to smother her crazy giggles.

Then they’d ended up back at Bucky’s place. Before he knew it, his shirt had been discarded, and they were stumbling to his bedroom. She pushed him back onto his bed, but it was when she straddled his lap and began placing hot kisses along his neck that Bucky froze in panic. It was then that he realized there was still something bothering him, still something that needed to be discussed. He couldn’t help but fear that she would regret this act between them all over again. He remembered the thing she had said to him over the phone that day they had fought.

“What’s wrong?” she asked in concern after seeing the look on his face.

“What did you mean when you said this would never happen again?”

She let out a sigh as she climbed off his lap and sat down next to him on the bed. “Well if you had let me explain myself that day over the phone, you would have heard me say that I didn’t mean I never wanted to have sex with you again.”

“You’re right, I should have let you talk more that day. I’m sorry.”

“When we had sex that night, I was in a really bad headspace. It was the night before the anniversary of Dex’s death. I did want to have sex with you, but not when I wasn’t thinking clearly. I felt like I’d used you to cope with my grief. I was trying to tell you that if we had sex again, it would be when I was in a better place.”

“And you’re thinking clearly now?”

“Absolutely. I love you, Bucky. I want you.”

He moved on top of her, kissing her fiercely and using his metal hand to unlatch her bra.

Hours later, she lay against him, snuggled into his right side with her head on his chest. His left hand rested on his stomach, and Y/N was gently tracing the intricate gold patterns along his forearm.

“Do things feel the same with this arm?” she asked him in a whisper.

“Not quite, no.”

“What’s it like?”

“It’s hard to explain…”

She looked up at him with a soft smile. “Just try.”

“Like when I touch something soft, rather than registering softness, my brain registers the idea of softness.” When she gave a confused quirk of her eyebrows, he tried to explain further. “I know something is soft or cold or gritty when I touch it. The arm sends those messages to the brain, but I don’t actually feel those things in my arm.”

“I think I understand…” She pulled his left hand up to her lips. “So when I do this, what appears in your brain?” She sucked his metal index finger into her mouth while giving him a very seductive look.

Bucky raised his eyebrows, and he was sure his pupils must have been dilated. “Warmth. Wetness. The texture of your tongue… and that if you keep doing that I’m never going to let you leave my bed.”

She let out a sexy giggle after releasing his finger from her lips. She laced her fingers in his and played with his hand a little more before finally resting his palm against her heart.

“What appears in your brain now?”

He thought for a moment, then said, “Just you, darlin.”

The way she looked at him in response Bucky knew he would never forget. He’d try to make her look at him that way every single day from then on. He registered Greer jumping onto the bed with them just before he dozed off into a peaceful dream.

The next morning Y/N was in a panic because she had forgotten to set an alarm and had only twenty minutes to get ready and make it to work. Bucky was a little bummed because he’d been hoping they could take Greer on her morning walk together. The woman was a tornado going through his apartment, throwing on spare clothes and brushing her teeth madly as she poured a cup of coffee. She didn’t even have time to give him a proper kiss before she was out the door.

He went into work for a small mission that day. As they suited up, Tony began the day with a typical round of nosy questions. The one aimed at Bucky was “Did you make it out of the friend zone yet?”

Bucky wanted to ignore him, but he knew that if Tony didn’t get an answer he would just annoy Bucky even more throughout the mission. “I did, actually.”

Tony looked quite surprised. “How’d that happen?”

“It’s a long story,” Bucky answered with a shrug.

“Which is none of your business, Tony,” Steve chimed in in an effort to help his best friend.

Bucky gave him a grateful look.

Just before putting his cellphone in his locker, he saw that he had a message from Y/N. He opened it to find a beautiful picture of her smiling brightly at the camera. Underneath the photo, the text read, “I’m sorry about the rush this morning. To make it up to you, I’m cooking dinner for us at my place tonight. Bring Greer as well. We have lots of snuggling to do in front of the TV, just the three of us. Have a wonderful day, Bucky. I love you :)”

Bucky felt himself grinning like an idiot, and he was glad none of the team was paying attention to him anymore.


	12. Lava.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's pretty fun. Hope you like it!

“My parents are going to be in town tomorrow,” Adam said as he wiped down tables and turned the chairs over on top of them.

“Wow, it’s been, what, three years since the last time we saw them?” You were helping him close up the bar on a Saturday night.

“Yeah, you know how distant they sometimes get since Dex died. But they said they want to have lunch with the both of us. They really miss you, Y/N. Mom said you never call anymore.”

“I know, I’ve been a shitty person these last few years. Tell her I’d love to get lunch and catch up.”

“You gonna say anything about Bucky to them?”

“No, the relationship is still so new. I don’t want to bring up my dating life and cause your mom grief until it’s someone I know I’m going to marry.”

“Probably a good call,” your best friend agreed.

Adam walked you home after locking up the bar, and he bid you goodnight with a promise that you would all eat at your favorite pizza place the next day.

When you walked into your apartment, Greer ran up to you with an excited howl, and the minute you kneeled down, she attacked your face with her tongue. Despite the friendly welcome from your favorite pup, your apartment felt quite lonely. You and Bucky had been officially together for two months now, and there was rarely a night that the two of you weren’t having a sleepover at your place or his. Sadly, he’d been gone on some very important top-secret mission for most of the week, and so you only had Greer to keep you company.

You missed Bucky fiercely when he was away from work. Not only did you long for the comfort of having a companion at mealtimes and someone to snuggle with during movies, but you also craved the maddening things that Bucky did to your body oh so well. The two of you had been insatiable ever since sorting out your problems, hardly spending a minute alone without tearing each other’s clothes off. To make matters worse, you had no idea when he would be returning. He wasn’t allowed to contact you on missions, but he did tell you that if you sent him a message he would probably see it but not be able to respond.

You were a little bit cruel for wanting Bucky to suffer in horniness just as much as you were. An idea formed in your head as you were eating leftovers for dinner. Once you finished up, you headed off to your closet to find the nicest pair of underwear you owned. You hoped Bucky would remember the time that he pulled these ones off you with his teeth. You slipped out of all your clothes, putting only the underwear on, and then you took several carefully angled selfies. You scrolled through them and selected the best few before sending them to Bucky with an evil grin.

The next day you dressed modestly for your lunch with Adam and his parents, Debra and Tom. They had always seen you as a goody-two-shoes who stole their bad boy son’s heart. You certainly didn’t want to give them any different of an impression now.

You met them at Mighty Mozzarella, a place that your heart loved but your waistline loathed. Debra looked better than you’d seen her in ten years; she had taken Dex’s death harder than anyone else. He had been a mamma’s boy his whole life.

When she saw your face, she pulled you into a suffocating hug, and you heard the quiet sobs she was letting out into your hair. You felt infinitely more guilty for not staying in touch with her over the last few years.

“It’s so lovely to see you, Y/N,” she said with a shaky voice.

“It’s good to see you too, Deb. I’m really sorry for not calling. It just got so hard for a while.”

She pulled away from you and gave you a watery smile while gently petting your hair. “I understand, honey.”

You went over to Tom and gave him a quick hug. The four of you exchanged pleasantries as you entered the pizza place together and found a table.

“You still at the same job?”

“Yup. It pays the bills, don’t need much else. And I get to spend most of my free time with this one,” you answered while gesturing to Adam.

“Did you get a dog?” You looked at Debra in confusion at her question. “There’s a bit of fur on your blouse.”

“Oh, right.” You instantly panicked but figured there was no harm in telling a half-truth. “Yeah, I got a beagle. Her name is Greer.”

“Oh, how wonderful! Isn’t that wonderful, Tom?”

“Yes, dear. Wonderful,” the man looked quite amused at his wife. He turned back to his son, asking him business questions about the karaoke bar.

“I didn’t think your apartment allowed pets,” Debra inquired further.

“Well, I moved since the last time you guys were in town. The place I’m at now has a spare bedroom and a much larger kitchen.”

“Oh, I bet that makes things nice, having the extra space and all. And I bet you have it decorated so pretty. You were always wonderful with home décor. I still remember how darling that apartment was that you and Dex shared in college.”

You noticed a sadness returning to her eyes as she brought up her son. You did the only thing you could think of to cheer her up.

“Would you like to come see the new place after lunch?”

“Oh! Could we? That would be just delightful. Did you hear that Tom? Y/N’s invited us over to see her new apartment.”

That’s how you ended up at your doorstep, wiggling your key into the lock as Adam and his parents stood behind you, Debra wearing the most excited of faces. You thought it strange when Greer didn’t immediately run into the living room to greet you when you entered your place. Suddenly, you heard a voice from the kitchen.

“Hey, darlin! I hope you don’t mind that I let myself in once I got back from the mission.” Your eyes widened in horror. The voice was coming down the hallway, approaching the living room. “I just couldn’t wait to see you. Those pictures you sent were so damn—” Bucky froze once he reached the main room and saw that you were not alone. He was wearing only a pair of sweatpants; his toned abs and metal arm were on full display. Greer was trotting happily behind him. “Um, adorable. The pictures you, uh, sent of you and Greer were really cute. I missed you guys.”

You were certain you had never blushed harder in your life. You caught Adam trying to suppress a laugh out of the corner of your eye. “Bucky, these are Adam’s parents, Debra and Tom. We just came from lunch, and they wanted to see my new apartment since they haven’t been in town for a few years.”

You couldn’t even bear to look at the older couple. You could only imagine how confused and disappointed they probably were. They most likely thought you had various half-naked men with metal arms wondering around your apartment on a regular basis. Oh, the humiliation.

“Right. Uh, nice to meet you both. I’m just gonna go put a shirt on.” He darted back down the hallway before anyone could respond.

Adam finally let out a belt of laughter, and you gave him a death glare.

“Um, Y/N honey, who was that?”

“That was my boyfriend actually…” you mumbled, still not meeting Debra’s eye.

“He looks very familiar,” Tom noted.

“You know who the Avengers are, right?” Adam asked both his parents. They nodded their heads.

“That’s Bucky Barnes. He’s part of the team.”

“Wait. Like Captain America’s friend?” You finally looked at Debra to find realization dawning on her face.

“The very same,” you confirmed, nervous for how they were going to react to this crazy turn of events.

“Oh, how wonderful!” she was smiling now to your immense shock. “Tom, isn’t that just wonderful?”

Greer finally ran over to you, and you gave her a pet before introducing the happy beagle to Tom and Debra as well.


	13. Promontory.

“Can we agree to never do that again?” Bucky had said once Adam had finally dragged his parents out of Y/N’s apartment.

“Definitely.”

“I’m so sorry, love. I had no idea you’d be coming home with guests.” He kissed Y/N gently on the lips as a form of apology.

“It was a last-minute thing. And it’s not your fault. I’m just so glad they ended up really liking you.” She grabbed him by his right hand and pulled him down onto the couch with her.

“I suppose it was kind of like meeting your family, huh? Since you don’t really talk to your biological family anymore?”

“Yeah. Congratulations, Bucky Barnes. You passed the test.”

He pretended to let relief fall across his face as he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. “Whew, I was really worried there for a minute.”

She wove her fingertips through his long hair while his head rested in her lap. “How many days before you have to go back into work?”

“Steve says we should get a week off, at least.”

“Wow, what do you plan to do with all that free time?”

“Most likely ravish you every chance I get,” he responded in his smoothest tone.

“Good answer.”

“Tomorrow, though, a few of us are doing a bit of hiking.”

“Oh? Am I invited?”

“Well, you have work… and to be honest, I told everyone that hiking wasn’t really something you’d be interested in.”

“So I haven’t ever really done it before, doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be interested in it.”

“Darlin, I just don’t want you to spend the day doing something you don’t want to do.”

“What? You worried I’m gonna be a better hiker than you or something?”

Bucky’s chest shook with laughter. “How could I forget how competitive you are? If you want to go hiking with us, be my guest, love. Just don’t whine to me when you’re toesies are bleeding.”

Her hands momentarily stopped playing with his hair as she typed something out on her phone. “I’m emailing my boss right now about taking a personal day… And just you wait and see who’s toes will be bleeding by the end of the day, mister.”

He simply chuckled once again. When she finished typing the email, her hands returned to his head, and she began gently raking her nails along his scalp. Bucky couldn’t help but let out a satisfied moan.

“About those pictures you sent…” His voice was husky once more.

“What about them?” she was playing innocent.

“I never got a chance to tell you just how fucking sexy they were.”

“Oh?” he looked up to find that she was batting her eyelashes and biting her lip.

“And you just had to be wearing that underwear from the one night in the kitchen at my place when I had you up on the counter…”

“I hoped you’d remember that.” Y/N’s voice was silky smooth. She knew just the way to drive Bucky insane.

“God, you’re a little devil aren’t you.” He lifted his head, turned to face her, and descended on her body with his lips in an instant.

The next day, the couple met Natasha, Bruce, Sam, and Steve at the start of Verkeerderkill Falls Trail. Y/N had opted for her comfiest pair of tennis shoes since she didn’t own hiking boots. She was soon cursing Bucky as he, Steve, Sam, and Nat set a laborious pace. She struggled at the back of the group with Bruce.

“I’m surprised you came along,” Bucky could hear his girlfriend saying to the man.

“I’m surprised you’re here as well,” he said back.

“I can’t let Bucky be right about anything,” she tried to whisper, but Bucky could still pick it up over Steve’s loud chatting, and he shook his head with a fond smile.

“You talkin’ shit back there, darling?” He called over his shoulder.

“Course not!” She replied in a saccharine voice.

Not long after, they were ascending the peak of a lookout, and Steve socked his best friend in the arm. “I’ll race you to the top!” he cried out, already getting a head start.

“You little punk!” Bucky shouted as he chased after him.

The rest of the group laughed at their antics, but just before the pair crested the top, Bucky whack his foot on a medium-sized rock he somehow hadn’t seen. He tumbled to the ground and clutched his toes in pain. Y/N walked quickly to catch up to him, and she kneeled down to put her arm around him in comfort.

“You cursed me.” He said to her grumpily.

“Cursed you? What on earth are you on about, Bucky?”

“You said I’d be the one with bleeding toes. You happy now?”

She couldn’t keep the smile from creeping up at the edges of her mouth. “You’re the one that brought up the toes bleeding thing. This is in no way my fault.” She stood and offered her hand to help him up.

He took her help but tried to put on a tough act the second he was on his feet again. “Doesn’t hurt too bad.” In reality, Bucky thought his big toe might have been broken.

She patted his back and said, “We’ll stop by the compound so you can see a medic before we go home, all right?”

“Fine,” he grunted.

“You okay, Buck?” Steve called out from the ridge.

“Yeah, no thanks to you, jerk. That win doesn’t count, by the way.”

“Not my fault you weren’t looking where you were going,” Steve quipped with a smile.

“May not be my fault either when I shove you off this cliff,” Bucky shot back, but he was smiling too.

When Y/N finally looked out over the edge, Bucky heard her let out a little gasp. “This is amazing.”

“Yeah?” he was pretty surprised by how much fun she seemed to be having now.

“It’s so freeing. It’s like standing on top of the world and looking down at all the little things that can’t bother you anymore.”

“Yeah… looks like I was wrong: hiking does seem to be a thing you’re into.” She grinned without tearing her eyes from the fantastic view. “I’ll make sure to bring you along when we do some of the hard trails.”

Her head snapped over to meet his eyes. “This wasn’t a hard trail?”

“Nope,” Bucky replied plainly with mirth in his eyes.

She was stunned for a moment but then played it off with a smirk. “If it wasn’t a hard trail, how come you managed to get injured?”

“That’s it!” He ignored the pain in his toe and lunged to grab hold of his silly woman, furiously tickling both her soft sides, her squeals only egging him on further.


	14. Anchor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one chapter left after this! And it will be going up tomorrow! :D

Bucky turned away from the mirror while buttoning his dress shirt and nearly tripped on Greer snoozing in the middle of his bedroom floor.

“Lazy dog,” he grumbled. She didn’t even open an eye at his complaint.

“You ‘bout ready, darlin?” he called to the bathroom, hoping the woman would finally, finally be done curling her hair.

“Not quite!” Y/N shouted back. Bucky let out a sigh as he flopped down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling and gradually losing his patience.

“We’re going to be late, love!”

“No, we won’t! And the more you distract me with your nagging, the longer it will take!”

He rolled his eyes at her stubbornness. “I’ll make sure to tell Natasha who’s to blame when we miss the ‘I do’ part!” Bucky thought back to the day he had asked Y/N to attend this special event with him. She’d met him at his place the minute he called her saying he was back from another mission. He’d been sorting through a large pile of mail when she let herself in.

“What’s that?” she was pointing to a frilly-looking envelope on the coffee table.

“That is the invitation to Nat and Bruce’s wedding.”

“Oh, they finally set a date? How lovely.”

“It’s in September.”

“I wonder if I’ve gotten an invite in the mail as well,” she pondered.

“You don’t need one. That is, if you’ll be my plus one, of course.”

He could tell she was flattered by the look on her face. “Bucky, that’s three months away. Are you sure you want to commit to that?”

“Certain. I know it’s still early days, but I said it months ago before you’d even give me a chance, you just feel right for me. I have no doubt we’ll still be together in September.”

And he had been right. It hadn’t even been a struggle to make it to autumn. The months flew by with ease, and Bucky spent them with his girlfriend doing the perfectly ordinary things that they both loved. Missions hadn’t been too stressful, and he barely had to be away from the beautiful woman. She never complained of how boring he was, and Bucky felt like he must have hit the lottery every time she fell asleep in his lap while they watched reality television, a peaceful smile always ghosting across her lips.

“Fine, I’m ready. Untwist your panties, James.”

He sat up from the bed quickly, fully prepared to scold her for calling him by his first name, but he never got the words out because she was so damn remarkable standing there in front of him. It was a casual, outdoor wedding, so she wore a lovely sea green sundress with matching heels. If he hadn’t known how long she’d spent creating those delicate curls in her hair, Bucky would have thought them to be so perfectly natural. He himself was sporting some casual slacks and an, admittedly, rumpled looking button-up shirt. He hardly deserved to be on her gorgeous arm for the evening.

“My panties are none of your concern,” he finally managed to get out.

She snorted. “If that’s how you really feel, I suppose mine won’t be your concern either anymore.”

His face fell into an instant panic. He stood from the bed and walked over to grab her hips. “Darlin, you know I didn’t mean it. You look gorgeous, by the way.”

“God, I’m starving,” Bucky heard Steve whisper from the seat next to him.

“I told you to eat a snack before we left. It’s your own damn fault,” Sam chided his friend from Steve’s other side.

“Will you two quit bickering like a married couple,” Bucky hissed in an effort to shut them up.

“Steve’s just pissy because he couldn’t find a date to bring tonight,” Sam went on.

“I don’t see a lady on your arm, Wilson,” Steve shot back.

“We can all agree that you’re both pathetic losers. Zip it.” Bucky really didn’t want to be on Natasha’s bad side if the likes of these idiots ruined her big day.

Steve’s stomach grumbled very loudly.

“Jesus, man, you ate like two giant bowls of pasta for lunch. How can you already be that hungry? What is wrong with you?”

“It’s the serum. Speeds up my metabolism. You know this, Sam.” They weren’t even trying to be quiet anymore.

Before Bucky could intervene once again, Y/N leaned around him from the seat to his right and gave the trio a seething look. “Nat is about to walk down the aisle. If the three of you don’t shut the fuck up right now, neither your wings, your metal arm, nor your super-soldier serum will save you. Got it?” her voice was pure venom.

The three men simultaneously let out nervous gulps and nodded their heads in fearful understanding. The music started to play just then, announcing Natasha’s entrance. The crowd stood to watch her make her way to Bruce. Tony and Thor stood by the groom’s side. Pepper and Wanda were stood opposite.

The ceremony had been beautiful and tender, much to Bucky’s surprise considering he never thought Nat to be the type of woman that would even want a wedding. During the reception, Bucky sat at a table with his girl and most of his friends. Nat and Bruce had been dancing for a long while and then mysteriously disappeared. Steve and Sam had done nothing but eat every piece of food that came into sight. Y/N had danced with him for a couple of songs, but her feet were hurting, so they were resting now, simply enjoying the romantic energy that seemed to come with the territory of a wedding.

His girlfriend had seemed quite happy all day, but there was something that Bucky kept wondering in the back of his mind. When they were alone for a moment at their table, he spoke his curiosity. “Do weddings bother you? Or the idea of marriage in general, considering what happened with Dex?”

She didn’t seem angered by his question, and Bucky thanked the heavens for that. “Not at all. Perhaps if he had died after our wedding, well I might feel different about it then. But this is the step Dex and I never got to. It’s something new and different that we never shared together; my wedding and marriage, if I ever have one, wouldn’t be tainted by my love and grief for him.”

Bucky pulled her close and kissed the tip of her nose. He pocketed her words in the back of his mind to think about more seriously at a later date.


	15. Jewel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first two chapters of a new Steve Rogers/reader fic will be going up tomorrow, so keep an eye out for that! Hope you like the ending to this one :)

It was a chilly morning in late November, and you were at your usual park with Bucky and Greer. You’d brought a blanket to lounge on while the two of you sipped hot cocoa, and Bucky had brought a squeaky toy for Greer to fetch. Bucky was laying on his side, his right arm propping him up and his left arm wrestling the toy from Greer’s slobbery mouth. You were sitting up with your legs crisscrossed, both gloved hands holding tightly to your coveted hot beverage.

“I have a surprise for you,” Bucky said with a grin on his face that told you he’d been hiding this surprise for a while.

“Bucky, you know I hate surprises,” you whined a little. It was true. You’d never liked them even when you were a small child. No matter how good the surprise turned out to be, it never warmed you to the concept.

“I promise you’ll like this one,” his grin was growing.

“That’s not the point. It’s the principle of the thing. Can’t we just do nice things for people without feeling the need to surprise them?”

“It’s the principle of the thing,” he mocked you. You gave him an annoyed look but leaned forward to kiss that excited grin off his face. Once you pulled away, he procured a mysterious envelope from his back pocket.

“What is it?” you couldn’t help the natural curiosity.

“Wouldn’t you like to know? Too bad you hate surprises,” he was teasing you so evilly now.

“Bucky, please just tell me,” you complained.

“They’re tickets.”

“Tickets? What sort of tickets?”

“Well, I know we’re typically more of the stay home in our pajamas or walk to the bar type of people, but I think you would be willing for a wild night out once you see what show these are for.

You raised your eyebrows at him impatiently. “Well?”

He opened the envelope and pulled them out. “These, my love, are tickets to see the Rolling Stones tomorrow night.”

“Oh wow. I didn’t even realize they were still touring.” You didn’t have the heart to express the hesitation that was forming in the pit of your stomach.

“Yeah, I mean, they’re old as shit, but they’re still going strong.”

You forced out a laugh. You didn’t want Bucky to see the displeasure inside you. He had done this to make you happy; you couldn’t bear to crush his good mood. “Where’s the concert?”

“Madison Square Garden.”

“That will be incredible.” You pulled him in for a tight hug and whispered, “Thank you, Bucky. This is a wonderful surprise.”

“I may have even had Stark pull in a few strings to get us the best seats.”

“So really, this was Tony’s surprise for me?” you joked.

“No, no, no. I still get all the credit.”

Greer ran over to you then, plopping her disgusting toy into your lap, looking at you expectantly. “Maybe they’ll let you join them on stage for some karaoke,” Bucky pondered with a smirk.

“Ha. Ha.”

In truth, you hadn’t yet told Bucky why the Rolling Stones was your favorite band and had been for ten years. You’d told him everything else about your past, everything else about Dex. But you failed to mention that most nights when you had been singing your heart out at the bar, you had been singing for Dex.

You felt guilty because Bucky saw your love for this music as an inherent part of you, but it was a trait you’d picked up from someone else. You had acquired a love for the Stones when Dex passed, and it seemed wrong to share this love with Bucky at a concert when he had no idea. You wondered if telling him would make him regret buying the tickets.

You let it bother you all evening when you were back home alone. Eventually, it welled up and you just had to call Bucky to talk to him.

“The Rolling Stones was Dex’s favorite band,” you blurted out before even saying hello when he answered.

“Uh, yeah, I know… Is that the reason you called?”

“Wait. You know? How do you know that?”

“When I was hanging out with Adam last month, he mentioned it. Look, if you’re not comfortable going to this concert tomorrow, just say the word. But even though Dex liked the Stones, well I still thought they were your favorite band too. You like them because their music is good, right? Not just because Dex liked them.”

You thought Bucky maybe had a good point. Dex might have introduced you to the band’s music, but you certainly wouldn’t have been listening to their songs on repeat for a decade if it wasn’t any good. You were slowly learning that grief was a process of disassociation. You had to slowly stop letting things remind you of the man you had lost, not because you’d stopped loving him, but because he was never coming back and you couldn’t let that loss control your life anymore. You couldn’t let Dex control who you date, or whether or not you’re able to talk to Tom and Debra, or what songs you sing at the bar, or what concerts you go to, or how you feel about weddings. He wasn’t in your life anymore, so you had to stop living like he was.

You went to Madison Square with Bucky the next night. You drank beers as the show started, and by the time the band was a few songs in, you were feeling okay about your choice to come. More than okay, actually. You felt good. This was a fun night with Bucky, that had no real connotations to Dex.

When “Moonlight Mile” started playing, the loud cheers died down, the crowd enjoying the slow music.

“How are you feeling?” Bucky asked from beside you.

“I’m good, Bucky,” you assured him with a genuine smile.

“You know, as much as you insist it’s otherwise, the Stones are really your music. It’s the music you chose to narrate your life to all these years. The music that got you through each day, each step, each stage.”

You nodded your head in agreement with what he was saying.

“It could narrate the next step in your life too, if you’re ready for it.” And then he was down on one knee holding out a ring.

You felt nothing but joy and love when you looked at him.


End file.
